Mancandy on TV.

This has been a weird week, what with flying balloons (not containing children) spooking the Western world and Meghan McCain’s giant boobs front and center on Twitter. Work’s been nuts – short week + instructors calling in sick + instructors on vacation = craziness. Craziness!

Thankfully, I have my trusty television to get me through the rough times. Despite the fact that I got home from work at 9 p.m. last night – and had to wake up at 5:45 a.m. today – I managed to log a good 5 or so hours of TV last night.

My take:

Glee: Jane Lynch is a comic genius. Lea Michele is a songbird goddess. Everyone else was kind of just…there. That Puck kid with the Mohawk is very cute, though. And a Jew? L’Chaim.

90210: I’d rather call this 9021-Ho. As in, Naomi’s sister Jen is a stupid ho. I want her exposed already! Navid and Adriana are done, but I’m okay with it for now. Jackie Taylor is back. Insert snore. Rob Estes hot and drunk, though. I wish I’d encounter that in real life.

America’s Next Top Model: This has got to be one of the dullest seasons of the show. Not one girl has a personality. They make Condoleezza Rice seem like Queen Latifah. And the one girl that I like – Nicole – has the worst personality of all. It’s like watching paint dry. Very pretty paint.

Grey’s Anatomy: It’s official. After last season’s awful ghost crap, I’m officially back on board with the show. I adored this episode. Izzie left Alex? I didn’t see that coming? And how about Callie’s dad trying to pray away the gay? Hilarious and heartbreaking. Sara Ramirez was absolutely stellar in her breakdown scene where she yells at her dad. My beloved Sandra Oh was a bit over-the-top in her own crying scene, but I’ll cut her some slack because she was probably just trying to use her five minutes of screen time to its fullest.

Modern Family: That song! OMG, gossip girls. This show is fantastic. It has the sharpest writing since Arrested Development and a cast as cosmologically brilliant as 30 Rock. Love the “cool dad” the most, closely followed by the Colombian firecracker and the fatter gay. Actually, I love them all – every character. And that never happens. I normally need someone to hate. I didn’t even hate Shelley Long, and that woman is revoltingly obnoxious (case in point: Cheers).

Cougar Town: Courtney Cox is really selling it. You wouldn’t think she could be convincing as an aging divorcee, but she is doing a great job with the material. I loved the “don’t watch me eat” sequences as well as the interactions between Jules and her neighbor, Hottie McHotpants. Busy Phillips and Krista Miller are an uproarious duo, too. And the son’s cute in a dorky sort of way. And the idiot ex-husband. I’d even bang Ellie’s husband, that’s how much I like the show. It’s all about sacrifices.

Melrose Place: I have a question: who is a worse actress, Ashlee Simpson or Jessica Szohr (who plays Vanessa on Gossip Girl)? I am going to say Ashlee Simpson by a (surgically-enhanced) chin. It’s tough to make Tara Reid look like a master thespian, but compared to Ashlee, she’s Meryl fucking Streep. That being said, I think Thomas Calabro is sexy, and any storyline that gives him material is fine by me. I also think that the guy who plays Jonah is hot, so more of him, please. Producers, are you listening? I want shirtless scenes. Victor Webster is hot too. And that David character. I’m really very one-track today (always, right?). Men – mmm.

I still need to watch last night’s 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation, and a bunch of back episodes of SVU. I’m hoping to be a little social this weekend too, so let’s hope I stick with that plan. Enjoy all of the previously mentioned hotties below:

Okay, yum. Who do you like?